Yuhoo! Im back! After a ‘mini’ hiatus, I’ve decided to finally make time for my poor blog and post an entry.
I initially wanted to be ‘off’ only for a week or so until my family has gotten over the summer cold, but with work and other commitments I seemed to have over looked my blog and concentrated on the more ‘important’ stuff instead.
Lots to tell, lots to write about, but first things first. Just some of the things I’ve been doing since the last post:-
- Web Design projects. Recently, I have been inundated with clients so obviously that’s my first priority. A few projects are finished and a couple I’ve decided to start on.
- Keeping the kids occupied – it’s the summer holidays, and yes, we have not made any plans again this year. So I’ve been stuck at home with 3 kids trying to prevent them to say ‘I’m bored’ 100 times a day! For the past few weeks they have driving me crazy. I also spent the weekend at my brothers, which was cut short due to unexpected illness (again!).
We ended up driving home a day early with the kids throwing up at the back of the car for added effect! Does anyone know how to take that vomit smell out of your car? It’s been quite pungent for the last two weeks. 
- Helping my husband develop an Android FarmVille Crop Timer App - well, as you know, I’m FarmVille‘s number one bitch, so begged hubby to develop an app to time my crops. Talk about obsession… yeah, yeah, I know I’m sad. But might as well make the use of our geeky knowledge to share with the world.
The app has been released. Will follow on with more details on here very soon!
- Reviews! – I know I should be grateful to be given the opportunity and getting paid for it, but I’ve been asked to do a few reviews which I’m pondering about, I don’t really want to my blog to be mostly reviews (even though they’re the things I like). I don’t know… something to think about. How do you feel about writing reviews? Does it shadow the main content of your blog and prevents you from talking about the things that you really want to talk about?
So the’re you go folks. That’s my month in a nutshell, nothing exciting as usual. But, one thing for sure… it’s nice to be back! 
In the new millennium, we`re fighting against the icon of the perfect mother. I don`t know about here, but in America you`re not allowed to talk about how it`s driving you crazy, or how you don`t like it, or how, if you have to give a bath one more time, you`re going to pull your hair out. Because then you`re considered a bad mom.
There`s a very established conversation or litany, which is, `Isn`t motherhood the best?` To me, that question just isn`t applicable. You can complain about your job, you can complain about your husband, you can complain about your friends, but God forbid you complain about your kids.
-Felicity Huffman
You know, I think it’s a bad idea writing this post while I’m so down with myself. But what the heck, as I said, this blog is about everything that is going on in my life; the high and the lows, and I’m the kind of person that likes to get things out in the open. Even though you probably don’t want to hear it. But this the only space where I feel free to write and let out some overdue frustration that has been bugging me for a while.
I’m tired. I feel over worked. I feel like I’m battling something that can never be won. I love my kids, I really do. But everyday is so much hard work. I feel such a drama queen telling you all about this, but at the moment, I look forward to the end of the day when I can finally unwind and have time for myself. The constant bickering and fighting between my son and daughter is getting me down. I’m mentally drained and physically exhausted. Not to mention my 2 year old who needs constant stimulation every hour of the day.
I admire my brother for always reminding me that being a mother is the hardest job of all. Of course, it’s a well known cliché. But to hear a man tell you how it is, specially coming from your own brother means a lot. Sometimes, it brings tears to my eyes knowing that someone out there apart from my friends know how it feels and how much effort, love and consistency goes into bringing up considerate and well balanced kids.
I’m looking forward to doing my degree this September, but at the same time I’m dreading the idea of having to face another work load. How do I divide my time? How do I stay sane? Am I taking on too much? Am I too impatient? A control freak? Some would probably agree.
I want to do well on my business venture, I have a steady flow of clients that are demanding my time. It’s hard to juggle work, kids, being a wife and home at the same time. Specially when your work place is at home and having a husband who also works from home. There is no getting away from the monotony or the screaming or the demands of a 2 year old. I have to learn how to divide my time between everything. And its fucking hard!
I dont want to fail. I’m not a failure, I don’t even consider that an option. I have aspirations and I want to do well in what I do. Whether it would be at work, my family and my kids. But I cant help but feel that I’m loosing control. The guilt is always there, nagging at me. My kids comes first, but what about me? Do I put my dreams in the back burner and concentrate on being the perfect mother and a wife (if there is such a thing?). Or do I just say, fuck it, I want to do well, I want a life! Take it or leave it.
I confess now, if I had my time again, I don’t think I would have stayed at home for as long as I had. I think I would have gone back to work as soon as my son turned one year old. Funny how the social criteria of being the ‘perfect mother and wife’ has a habit of making you feel guilty. I don’t think I’m being selfish or love my family any less, but as modern woman, I think it’s also my right to be myself and not forget that even though I’m a mom and a wife, I am also a woman named Maria.
Note to self: Never forget that.
This week has been one of those weeks (again), but thankfully blogging has kept me somewhat sane. All that angst that has building up inside me needed to be shared with the world (whether you like it or not!). What a great way to whine about things that has happened over the week and to tell the world to Flip-Off!
So here goes:-
Flip off to DOG SHIT! - Yep it’s happening again. Actually, it’s been happening for the last 2 years! Ive never known anything like it. For the last 24 months I’ve been trying to find out who’s been responsible for letting their dog or dogs foul on my lawn.
The dog warden have been called, the council had been informed, but the doggy doo offender still haven’t been caught. I’ve even gone to the extent of doing a dog shit vigil but yielded no results.
So feeling rather tired of it all, I shoveled every single one of those offensive doggie doos and strategically placed them on the painted sign NEXT TO MY LAWN (yes people are also illiterate as well as ignorant!) just to subtly hint that I do not appreciate their dogs shitting all over my front yard!
Dog owners that let your dogs do this, SHAME ON YOU!
Flip Off to lack of sleep and feeling tired all day! – This week I’ve been walking around like a zombie. The lack of sleep is really getting to me, every morning I wake up like a bear with a sore head. Sleep deprivation has been known to be used as a form of torture, so why me?
Flip Off to the weather! – We were teased with a few weeks of sunshine in June, and now July (nearly August) the British weather has not failed to disappoint. It’s been raining, cold and grey for the last 2 weeks and really I could do with the sunshine now that the school holidays have begun. There’s only so much ‘indoor wet play’ I can take, I need sunshine please! And make it last- all summer preferably! That’s all!!!
Flip Off to not having time together with my husband! – All work and no play makes Fairyboo a pissed off mofo! The days and nights are getting repetitive (that’s marriage for you). I was telling a friend just the other day, that the last time that me and MrB had a time alone for more than a day,was when we had our honeymoon. Ermmm 3 years ago?! Yup, it’s all about the kids and work now, and the over time that MrB is doing is not making things any better. I need a break – we need a break – I expect it in a few years or so….. *sigh*
Well…. that was theraputic! Thanks Kludgymom 
It seem like the sun this summer is rarely putting on an appearance, so when it slightly peeked this afternoon I took advantage of setting out a mini picnic for the kiddies.
I used left over food and it’s amazing what you can put together in half an hour.
Tadah!
Shredded chicken with quail eggs – left over rotisserie chicken shredded with boiled quail eggs.
Garlic & rosemary toasted bread – I made my own garlic bread by using the left over french bread and mixing 2 garlic, a sprig of rosemary (from our herb garden of course) and butter. Spread on the bread and toast until golden brown.
Simple salad
I also did a fruit kebab with grapes, bananas and strawberries which also went down a treat.
Toddler – Tiny bipolar humans under the age of 3, who can swing rapidly between endearingly cute antics and screaming, kicking, biting fits of rage.
Completely unpredictable and often unintelligible lovable little walking blessings/nightmares disguised as tiny human beings with giant heads. Prone to selective hearing and repeating overheard curse words at inopportune moments.
More dangerous when traveling in packs. Evolutionarily speaking, it is ridiculous that humans have the ability to reproduce fast enough to be the parent of more than one toddler at a time.
Inspired by shitmykidsruined, I’ve decided to showcase Sam’s own gallery of destruction. If you’re a parent I’m certain that you feel my pain and if you’re thinking of having kids…be warned, this is enough to put you off for life.
